16 Months

Dear Gracie,

In the first fifteen months of your life, outside of scheduled check-ups, you only visited the doctor once for a weird rash on your face.  In the sixteenth month of your life, you saw three different doctors in one week.  So not fun.

For about 10 days of this month, you were a hot mess.  First, you got a chest cold that you just couldn't shake.  Then, your eyes turned red and your nose became a faucet.  Once you started running a low fever, we decided to take you to the doctor.  Upon entering the waiting room, you threw up all over me and yourself.  Daddy and I both just stood there in shock for a good 60 seconds before the wonderful ladies at the front desk jumped into action and were cleaning things up and rushing us into a restroom.  My poor little baby, you were absolutely miserable.  One look at the doctor entering the room, and you started wailing and did not stop for about the next hour.  It was brutal.  Finally, they sent us home with directions to start some allergy meds.  As Daddy pulled you out of the car in our garage, you threw up again, this time all over him.  You've probably been wanting to do that for awhile now.  A few days later, and you were miserable again.  You were sleeping in 30 minute spurts at night, and I was functioning like a zombie during the day.  So, back to the doctor we went.  One breathing treatment and a double ear infection diagnosis later, and we were off to the drugstore to fill your antibiotic prescription.  While I was in the store, you threw up all over yourself in your car seat.  Man oh man.  We cuddled a lot that week, on the couch and in bed, something you normally would never put up with.  I guess that was the silver lining in this awful storm cloud.  I got to hold you like my little baby again.  Oh, and I almost forgot, you also had four teeth pop through during this time.  Once again, you were a hot mess.  Guess what?  You survived.  We all survived.

Up until this point, it feels like most of your big milestones have been physical - rolling over, walking, running, climbing Mt. Everest, etc.  This month, your brain seriously exploded (seriously - cleaning brain out of your ears every night after bath time), and Gracie, you are sooo smart!  I mean I knew you would be, but the things you are doing and SAYING are blowing me away.  You have added the following words to your vocabulary - cracker, sticker, cheese, keys, and shoes.  You say everything with such enthusiasm - like every word has at least four syllables and takes you 20 seconds to say.  Cheese is cheeeeeeeeeeese?  Everything pretty much ends with a question mark.  Sticker is hands down my favorite - stchxxxxxxer?  That's exactly how it would be spelled the way you say it.  Your favorite word is probably, more.  You want more of everything.  I've been singing a lot of Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell" to you because of that, but I change up the words.  "You loved my pot-roast and peas, you cried, more, more, more!"  There are a few words that you say over and over that we just can't quite make out.  The other night, at the dinner table, Daddy and I spent a good fifteen minutes trying to figure it out. 
Grace: phire?
Daddy:  fire?
Grace:  oh (shakes head no)
Momma:  fly?
Grace:  oh (shakes head no)
Daddy:  fine:
Grace:  oh (shakes head no)
This went on for awhile, until you deemed us too stupid to converse with, and left the room to talk to your dolls.

Your personality is really starting to shine through, and honey, you are such a little lover!  You've started to give CLOSED mouth kisses (hallelujah!), and make a little mwah sound.  We get kisses, your dolls all get kisses, and Daisy gets A LOT of kisses.  Sometimes, if you really want to get your point across, you drag out the mwah sound so it's more like this...mmmmmmmwwwwwwaaaahhhhh.  Those are the best kisses - sometimes your lips don't even make contact because you are so concerned about the length of the sound.  Also, you started hugging us.  You've never been a cuddly baby, so it's been fun to finally get some affection from you.  You can be pretty judgy about when and to whom you distribute said affection though.  Sometimes in the morning you wake up on the wrong side of the crib, and Daisy is the only one who gets a good morning kiss.  Sometimes friends of ours are relegated to high five only status while you lay a long one on some random kid at the playground.  Fickle, much?

School is FINALLY over, which means I'm home with you full time again until August/Septemberish.  It also means that we went on our annual 4th of July vacation to the Fleming Cottage in Caseville, MI.  This year, you spent the first few days of vacay with Gramma and Papa Jack ALONE, while Daddy and I did adult stuff by ourselves.  This was the first time I've ever been away from you overnight since you were born.  I think I handled it well.  You handled it a little too well.  When we finally showed up at the cottage, you barely registered a smile when we walked through the door.  I was expecting you to throw yourself at us, but I reminded myself that this was a sign that you did just fine without us, which was important to me.  I wanted you and your grandparents to enjoy some alone time together.  We had so much fun during those days Up North.  You attended your very first parade, and sat on Daddy and I's shoulders clapping and waving your little American flag the entire time.  Your little hands had to hurt from so much waving.  Each tractor or fire truck that went by elicited a very enthusiastic "wooooow" from you.  The wows were my favorite part.  You whispered them under your breathe like you really could not believe there was a big tractor rolling right down the middle of Main Street!  I wish I could see the world through your eyes for a day and be amazed again by small town parades and fireworks.  Never lose that sense of wonder and joy - it is so charming!

Last month you were barely walking barefoot on grass, and this month you were getting down and dirty planting a garden with me on our back patio.  There was a raised bed up for grabs out back, so we decided to plant some green beans, cherry and grape tomatoes, and some herbs and marigolds.  Armed with a child sized garden spade and watering can, you were the best helper ever.  You especially loved to pull weeds which actually is now problematic now that the plants have sprouted and you think we should pull those too!  We usually garden for a little bit every morning, and I've started just throwing you in your bathing suit so I can hose you down when we're finished...that's how dirty you are getting!  As a born and raised farm child, watching you run your little John Deere tractor over the dirt makes me so happy.  I take a million pictures of you every morning while you move dirt and pour buckets of water all over the place.  Of course, you often do this while wearing several necklaces and a bow in your hair.  I love how well rounded you are!

I hear you babbling in your room right now, and I can't wait to go pick you up and (hopefully) get my post-nap smooch and hug!  Crossing my fingers that your dreams were full of all the fun we had this morning, and you will grant them to me!

xoxo
Momma

p.s.  You hate having your picture taken all of the sudden.

15 Months

Dear Gracie,

Month fifteen was full of parties and celebrations, and you were always the belle of the ball!  Some of that attitude disappeared, and you were that sweet little girl again giving wet open mouthed kisses to anyone you could grab.

The month started off with your cousin Carolyn's baptism and Mother's Day all packed into one day.  We made the drive to Michigan again, and again, you decided to only sleep for about an hour of that long car ride.  You never wake up drowsily from a nap.  Your eyes just pop open and you say "Hi" to whatever your eyes land on.  You definitely inherited that from your Momma, and Daddy is not all that excited about that.  He's always telling you to be quiet in the morning, and you just run all "I LOVE MORNINGS - WHEEEE!".  I love that about you.  So happy to be alive and surrounded by all of your favorite things and people every morning.  You had absolutely no interest in seeing Carolyn be baptised, and instead ran around the church the entire time with Daddy close behind.  You were a champ going on no naps and survived the whole service and meal afterwards.  Your little eyes were so heavy, but you would just not give in to sleep.  I always see parents carrying sleeping kids around your age and I envy them.  You rarely slow down long enough to put your head down on my shoulder, and I don't think you have fallen asleep somewhere other than a crib or your car seat since you were six months old.  I long to feel the heavy weight of your sleeping body in my lap and arms, but I also love how you just can't bear to miss out on one second of anything.  The world is your oyster, my dear.

Not long after our trip to Michigan, you attended your friend Connor's 2nd birthday party.  You all seemed so grown up jumping around in Connor's new bounce house and eating cupcakes by yourself while us parents sat on the outskirts and had a glass of wine.  You were a little apprehensive of the bounce house at first, but once the other kids were in there and screaming in delight, you just couldn't resist.  You were jumping all over the place (I use the word jump very loosely), and laughing so hard you were out of breath.  For the first time, when something funny happened, you were looking at the other kids to see if they noticed instead of Daddy and I.  You were making friends!  The night ended with you curled up in a chair with the birthday boy reading The Bible.  Awesome choice there, kid.  You were looking at Connor like he was the best thing in the world, and Daddy looked at me and mouthed "oh, shit."  It's too early to be looking that content snuggled up with a boy in a chair!  You were practically batting your eyelashes at him!  Oh boy, are we in for it.  You received a blow up elephant from the part as a parting gift, and now you throw your arm up in the air like a trunk and make a noise similar to what an elephant would make.  I love that your first animal noise after dog was elephant.  Forget those barnyard animals - let's get exotic!

Near the end of the month we made one more trip, this time to see Grandma and Grandpa H on their farm in Indiana.  Your cousin Emma graduated from high school, and we arrived in time to help set up the party.  During this trip, you discovered something that stopped you in your little tracks.  Grass on your bare feet.  It literally was a wall between you and all of the wonders the yard held - the swing, the sprinkler, balls, the sand pile, and Daisy and Wendall.  You absolutely refused to walk on the grass without shoes on for the first 24 hours that we were there.  You ran back and forth on the sidewalk staring out at all the fun like a trapped dog.  We finally put shoes on you so that you could go out and play, but I could not stop laughing.  This little girl who was climbing on furniture and walking into a strange church daycare without a look over your shoulder at me leaving finally found something that flustered her.....grass.  It's just so funny!  You finally warmed up to barefoot grass walking, and even graduated to running on the gravel (that's my little country girl), but for one moment it was nice to see you sitting back and not just diving straight into something you weren't so sure about.

This is the month when I realized something about myself as a mother - I had relaxed.  While I was pregnant with you, and in the early months of your life, I was obsessed with you being this perfect little preppy city baby who had monogrammed clothes and listened to hip music instead of Baby Einstein.  I don't know why I felt the need for us to be so cool and collected.  My favorite moments with you this month involved you being in dirty clothes and messy hair just being Grace.  You cried putting your hands in finger paint for the first time, and instead of being disappointed, I laughed and kissed your tears.  When you decided you didn't want to wear bows in your hair anymore, I just pulled back what I could and sent you off to play.  When you picked to eat a cupcake first instead of your fresh and healthy meal I put together for you at a party, I grinned.....until you wiped your chocolate covered hands on my linen J.Crew skirt.  Oh well, that's what dry cleaners are for, right?  When I dropped my skirt off to be cleaned, the lady behind the counter smiled and said it looked like I'd had a good time.  You know what, she was right, I did have a good time.  What's even better is that you, my darling, had a GREAT time.  Grace, you just keep being you.

xoxo
Momma

p.s.  Here's you and Carolyn during a Mother's Day photo shoot for Gramma F.  You guys are going to be trouble once C is mobile.  I can tell you're already scheming.

14 Months

Dear Gracie,

Remember how I ended last month's letter by mentioning your "spark"?  Oh yeah, that spark turned into a red hot flame of whiny, clingy, screaming toddler mess.  I'm sorry for saying "no" so much to you.  It was pretty unreasonable for me to worry about you pulling bookcases and televisions over on yourself, wasn't it?  Hello, fourteen months!

You entered into a daredevil phase (I hope it's a phase) that is going to give your poor Daddy a heart attack.  You have a small child size table and chairs set that I inherited from my Granny.  So far, it was just a place for you to store books and bowls of snacks and such.  Then, one day, I walked into the kitchen and you were sitting in one of the chairs.  Daddy was working in his office, and unless Daisy gave you a boost up there, you had crawled up into that chair all by yourself for the first time.  You were so proud of yourself until you realized you couldn't get down.  Crap.  We taught you how to turn  around and slip down safely, and you conquered it pretty quickly.  So, for the next oh, two weeks of your life, you crawled up and down off that chair for a solid two hours a day.  Your legs and arms were covered in bruises, and every time you made it up and down, you grinned just like it was the first time.  Check me out, I'm climbing, yo! Cue your parents freaking out that everything in our apartment was almost fair game for you chubby little hands to grab now.

See those necklaces around your neck?  You became unreasonably obsessed with wearing multiple necklaces at all times.  You constantly were taking them off and putting them back on - over and over and over again.  Now, don't get me wrong, it was adorable, except for the times when these necklaces got caught on something you couldn't free yourself from.  Remember the two weeks of chair climbing?  Yeah, you were wearing necklaces during a lot of those climbs, and they got caught on legs and chair backs and your feet and pretty much everything within a twelve inch radias of your neck. Once finding yourself caught, you would instantly melt down and jerk and flop around like a fish caught on a hook.  Heaven forbid that you were forced to slow down for two seconds and try to solve the problem.  Sometimes we would just stand there and be mean parents and try to force you to figure out the snag yourself.  Of course, we always gave in.  You also had a handful of bracelets that you forced all of our guests to put on and take off several times.  Daisy didn't even escape the wonderful jewelry stylings of Gracie.  I would often find bracelets around her paws while she was sound asleep in her bed.  If you become a famous stylist or designer some day, I will be able to say that I knew this was in your future way back when.

So, as of now, Daddy is still watching you during the day while I am away at work.  Now, he is amazing at juggling both you and excelling at his extremely demanding job, but I started to worry that you were a little too isolated in our little apartment.  I love Daisy, but she's not much of a conversationalist.  So, I started setting up more play dates with your friend Connor, and we also started attending a music class.  You absolutely thrived being around other kids.  It made me feel awful that I hadn't pushed this before.  You just light up when you see little humans your own size.  Maybe you didn't know they existed?  You thought you were stuck on this planet with only big people who wouldn't let you play with knives that you found in the dishwasher.  You LOVE music class.  You stand right in the middle of the room and sway to the music, clap, and stomp your little feet while Mr. Dave plays his guitar and sings.  Every time a song ends, you clap, and then you look around the room to make sure everyone else is clapping as well.  If you see someone who made the mistake of not clapping upon completion of the little ditty, you walk over and stand right in front of them continuing to clap.  I laugh so much during those 40 minutes each week.  You love Mr. Dave, you are such a fan girl.  Your favorite part of class is when Mr. Dave brings out a bag of musical instruments for everyone to play along with.  You always grab a maraca, and with some coaxing help pass out instruments to the wee ones who can't fight for one themselves.  Now, there is a good amount of "sharing" going on (i.e. kids grabbing instruments away from each other), but you are usually a good sport about it.  Music class is the one place that you have yet to melt down in.  I wish we had a 24 hour Mr. Dave channel on tv.

You mastered some funny little things this month.  For some reason, you decided to start walking backwards.  You always have this look on your face like "whoa, this is seriously blowing my mind" every single time you do it.  You also sometimes stand with your hands clasped behind your back like you're pondering the meaning of an abstract painting or waiting patiently for your bus to arrive.  It's such a grown up action that it just cracks us up.  You also are mastering scribbling with crayons and playing with play-doh.  Both of which usually end up in your mouth after a few minutes, but I love seeing your little creative juices flowing.  I pulled out some old dishes that I used to play with as a little girl, and we make all kinds of muffins and cakes for our pretend tea parties.  Just please stop sneaking bites of play-doh.  Daddy is convinced that it is making you sick, and even though that is impossible since it's non-toxic, he doesn't need anything else to worry about!

Even though you were a little tough to handle this month at times, every time I walked into the room and saw you swaying your hips to the Hot Dog Dance on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, I prayed for time to stop for just a few days.  I never want to forget the joy that jumps on your face when you hear that song playing.  Whatever is in your hands gets dropped immediately, and you celebrate Mickey and the gang's success by clapping and walking in circles with your arms in the air.  Sometimes I join you.

xoxo
Momma

p.s.  Here you are contemplating your next stroke of creative genius.