Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Kids Say the Darndest Things!

My in laws are hilariously going crazy trying to guess the names that we have picked out for watermelon.  They tried to get some hints out of B last night, but he sent them down the wrong path of famous sports names.  I don't think there is anyone famous by our names unless you check polo or cricket rosters, perhaps.  Maybe, field hockey for the girls name?  Anyway, my mother in law (the original Mrs. F!) teaches third grade and decided to take a poll in class to see what names her students thought we picked.  Oh man, I can't stop laughing at what they came up with. 

Top boy names:  Larry, Fred, or Draco
Top girl names:  Rosemary or Carrie

These sound more like names the senior citizen community center would pick.  Also, Draco?  Not sure if that is a Harry Potter or a hockey reference.  Oh man, I love kids!

xoxo
AK

p.s.  Baby, I practiced swaddling a doll today.  It didn't go well, and the doll wasn't even moving around or crying like I'm sure you will be.  I think you're going to have to be patient with me on this one.  At least the swaddlers are all made out of really stylish prints.  You'll look great while easily breaking out of them with one little arm punch.  That counts for something, right?

February 29th

I do not want to have this baby tomorrow.  I love birthdays, and how cruel would it be for watermelon to be born on Leap Day which totally screws up the whole birthday situation.  After praying for him/her to get here already for the past week, I'm going to lay off that prayer tonight and instead pray for Kid Rock to realize that endorsing Mitt Romney in Michigan was stupid.  Really, Kid?  All the man can say about Michigan is that "the trees are the right height."  Brilliant.  Sorry for talking politics for a hot minute.  You can't hate me readers, I'm pregnant!  So nanna nanna boo boo.  I digress.

B, on the other hand, would love for watermelon to be born tomorrow.  His reasoning?  "We could save so much money only celebrating his/her birthday every four years!"

I win tonight, B.  Again.

xoxo
AK

p.s.  Baby, your Momma's Indiana Hoosiers beat your Aunt S and Uncle B's Michigan State Spartans tonight in basketball.  I can't wait for your first word to be Hoo-Hoo-Hoo-HOOSIERS cause we Spanked Green, Smoked White!

Saturday, February 25, 2012

First, I'd like to thank my fans!

It surprised me to find out this week that people (other than my parents and B) not only read this blog, but that they actually look forward to my posts.  In fact, I got a request from one of these "fans" this week to post more pics.  I have to admit that I really have been slacking in this department.  Remember earlier in my pregnancy when I had those cute birds on the wall that told what week I was and I wore the same shirt to show how much I'd grown?  That project went by the wayside just like B's attempt to give up swearing for Lent.  To make up for that, here are a few pics of Free Willy (that would be me) and just to up the cuteness factor, a little bit of B and Big Sister Daisy.


38 weeks and looking like a weeble wobble that might just topple over forward.



So glad i could provide that headrest for you, Daisy!



31st birthday - Black is so slimming.  You can barely tell I'm pregnant!



B getting some baby holding practice in.  Daisy being completely unladylike.


xoxo
AK

p.s.  Baby, we were apartment hunting all day today looking for the place we will live together as a family for the first few years of your life.  Of course you'll be in our current apartment for a few weeks after you are born, but unless you really love drag queens, glitter, and hearing the same Lady Gaga songs night after night all summer long, I think you'll appreciate this move.  We have two finalists and Daddy and I showed our total nerdy sides by making a weighted chart where we rated each property to decide which one we would sign the lease for....and Daddy was totally giggling with delight over his creation.  I can't wait for our nerdiness to embarrass the crap out of you! 





This is your brain on pregnancy!

Ok, my brain turned into the fried egg from the "this is your brain on drugs" commerical yesterday, and I committed one of the worst pregnancy errors ever.  I made a decision about my appearance.  More than 15 women with children, and several of those pregnancy books I gobbled up last summer, stressed to not make any decisions regarding hair, skin, or anything beauty related when you are pregnant...especially in those last desperate weeks before the baby comes when you are feeling the most unattractive and uncomfortable you have ever felt in your life.  Ooops.

So, it all started with a very sane beauty ritual that I've been doing since the tender age of 18 (when my best friend, J, told me my eyebrows looked like caterpillars) - getting my eyebrows waxed.  I went into my appointment only to find my normal waxer lady was not there, and a girl with eyebrows larger than mine (yes, hard to believe I know) and a neck tattoo that said "Daddy" sat me down at her station to do the job.  She actually was a very sweet girl, and noticing that I was extremely pregnant, suggested that maybe I should upgrade my wax to a wax and tint job.  "That way, once the baby is here you don't have to worry about doing your eyebrows when you run errands or entertain guests.  It's like permanent makeup!"  she perkily explained.  Hmmm...that sounded like such a great idea and timesaver, that I completely forgot that #1  I don't "do" my eyebrows other than running a small comb through them to tame them a bit.  I don't use an eyebrow pencil or shawdow to fill them in or anything.  #2  I have never in my life cared about looking pulled together when running errands or even entertaining guests.  Even less so since I've been hugely pregnant, and probably even less than that once I have a newborn.  But since my fried egg brain couldn't bring any of these reasons to the front of my conciousness, AND I get easily talked into extra purchases/services at this particular store (Benefit you are like crack to me), I said "YES!  THAT SOUNDS GREAT AND MAKES PERFECT SENSE!"

We've all met pregnant women who in the last weeks of pregnancy, chopped all of their hair off into a "manageable mom bob" or started wearing slippers as outside shoes.  We all laughed at them.  Well, now I'm one of them.  Without going into too many boring details, I now am the proud owner of two eyebrows that look like they were drawn on and colored in with a black magic marker or like this magnetic drawing thing I used to have when I was little.


Or kind of like the evil queen in Snow White...



Once again, oops.  I'm sure it will fade...right?  Hopefully before I see my mom and she tells me I look goth like that one time in college I died my hair black. 

xoxo
AK

p.s.  Baby, I had my 38 week appt yesterday and am dilated the size of a fingertip.  That might not sound like much, but it's a whole fingertip more than last week and a whole fingertip closer to meeting you!  C'mon out - you know you want to!!!!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Today I am old.....er

So, today is my 31st birthday.  Seriously, where did the years go?  It seems like just yesterday I was showing off my brand new 21 year old ID to the bouncer at Kilroy's, who responded with "Hi, Annie!  You've been coming here for two years, and it's just now your 21st birthday?  Your fake was impeccable - I bow down to you."  (just kidding Mom and Dad....sort of)

Other than the obvious aches and pains that come with the final weeks of pregnancy, I'm having the best week ever!  One week ago was V-day, which B and I celebrated on Thursday with a trip to the Adler Planetarium (which hilariously was hosting a singles event and there I was beluga whale huge and not wearing a wedding ring due to swelling - I wish I would've got hit on) to see Mars through a telescope and do other really cool nerdy stuff that we love.  Then, on Saturday, B surprised me with tickets to see the musical American Idiot which we all three loved, especially watermelon because he or she happily kicked and shifted through all the rock music.  The fun continued on Sunday with a girls only brunch with my favorite Chicago girls where we stuffed our faces and gossiped for hours.  I seriously could not be feeling more blessed!  I am so lucky to have such amazing supportive people in my life!  CORNBALL EXPRESS!  ALL ABOARD!

At our last appointment, we found out that watermelon is in the heads down position and ready to go.  We got to have one last ultrasound just to check the size of the baby because I was a huge 10+ lb baby, and they wanted to make sure this little one was not tipping the scale in that direction as well.  We got to count the ten fingers and toes and see a little bit of hair on top of that head.  Then, they gave me a sealed copy of my chart to keep with me for when I go into labor and sent us on our way.  B headed home, and I headed to Corner Bakery to demolish a chopped salad. 

What happened next I am not proud of.

Sitting at my little table waiting for my salad, I felt like that sealed chart was calling to me.  "Open me, Annie.  I may tell you whether your baby is a boy or a girl.  I know you've waited patiently to find out, but really, do you want to wait another three weeks?"  Oh boy, this chart is calling me out.  Ummm...no, I don't want to wait, chart, I'm tired of waiting.  So, my willpower faded away and I ripped open that envelope, and guess what I found out??????

1.  They keep track of whether I am alone or whether my significant other is also in attendance.  That felt just a little judgy.
2.  My weight is not as bad as I thought. I loved looking at the two week weight gain of 11 lbs which obviously must've been the two weeks after my morning sickness went away and I ate our entire kitchen just because I could.
3.  Apparently, at one appointment, I cried about something?  I don't remember this, but they seemed to think it was important enough to note?
4.  My blood pressure has actually gotten better since I've been pregnant - woohoo MVP of blood pressure!
5.  And, what you're all waiting for....the baby is....A BABY! Haha - there was no mention of watermelon's sex in the chart. 

Phew.  Seriously I would've felt AWFUL if I had found out.  That's what I get for being a nosy 37 1/2 week pregnant lady!

Now off to celebrate my last birthday before I become a momma.  I'm totally going to stuff my face with some Taco Bell for lunch and then drool over clothes I can't fit into in my latest J. Crew catalogue.

xoxo
AK

p.s.  Baby, we 100% finalized your name over the weekend.  Now I wish I was having twins (one boy/one girl) because I love each choice so much and I want to use them both NOW!  It is top secret info until your birth, but I can share that no one will be surprised by our typical preppy style that overflows into pretty much everything we do.  Let's just say that your initials are going to look so awesome embroidered on your first cashmere sweater and/or lacrosse bag.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

36 3/7 Week Appointment

So, today at my appointment my doctor told me that they would allow me to go one week and four days PAST my due date before inducing unless there were problems.

Umm..excuse me, WHAT???!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?  If B hadn't been there I would've thrown a punch.

She followed that up zinger up with, "You have a soft cervix" which is supposed to be a good thing?

I have never missed wine more in my life.  I have finally been confronted with a situation that I can not pout my way out of. 

xoxo
AK

p.s.  Baby, do not make yourself comfy in there.  The world out here is bright and beautiful and you need to see it!  I promise this has nothing to do with the fact that Momma can't eat, sleep, breathe, or walk without waddling.  Nothing, and no, my fingers are not crossed behind my back. 

Monday, February 13, 2012

Happy Valentine's Day!

I know that I'm a few hours early, but I just wanted to wish everyone a wonderful Valentine's Day!  Tomorrow B and I will be busy with my 36 1/2 week appointment (they're checking to see if I'm dilated which seriously the nurse should buy me dinner first for that intimate of a procedure) and eating our traditional romantic meal of either Hot Diggity Dog or Art of Pizza.  Nothing says I love you like chili dogs and deep dish pizza!


All you need is love!

xoxo
AK

p.s.  Baby, you helped make this the best Valentine's Day ever!  I bought 2 packages of Reese's Peanut Butter Hearts, a box of brownie mix, Skittles, Red Hots, and a container of Funfetti icing at the store and the lady behind the counter just glanced at my stomach and said "cravings, I get it."  Ummm....sure, lady, I definitely am only buying all this stuff because of pregnancy cravings and not because I plan to eat it all by myself just because IT TASTED GOOD!

Breathe Wrong

So, I currently look like a pregnant woman who got in a fist fight.  It is pretty awesome.

Let's backtrack a bit shall we.  I, like the majority of my wonderful family, have a deviated septum (did you know that they are so common because most babies noses are broken during childbirth????) which makes breathing a little harder than normal for me.  I can't lay down on my left side for more than a few minutes because my nostrils just don't work in that position.  Add in an awesome pregnancy where even my nasal passages have swollen up like a Thanksgiving day parade balloon, and I wouldn't be surprised if my forgetfulness is due to a lack of oxygen.  I just CAN NOT breathe out of my nose and refuse to become one of those disgusting mouth breathers.  I mean it has gotten so bad, that I can't sleep at all at night.  My favorite nose spray is currently not available to me because of birth defects or something, so at the suggestion of a close friend, I started using Breathe Rite strips at night. 

Everything started out fine.  Breathe Rite and I were getting along very well.  I was sleeping better which meant Brad and even Daisy were sleeping better, and that makes for one happy family.  Somehow though, my fat nose built up a resistance to the regular strength Breathe Rite strips I'd been using.  Suddenly they were falling off in the middle of the night or just not working at all.  Breathe Rite and I were headed for a breakup until I noticed Breathe Rite Advanced in my local pharmacy.  I snatched them up and said a little prayer that they would conquer my fat nose and bring sweet sleep back to me.  For about a week, these little guys did the trick.  I noticed I had a little more trouble getting them off in the morning than the regular strength strips, but that was a small price to pay for eight hours of blissful sleep.  I should've really taken notice when I developed a red rash in the shape of the strip on my nose several days later, but c'mon EIGHT HOURS OF SLEEP!!!  Then, the shiz hit the fan.  I woke up a few mornings ago to discover blood on my pillow.  I immediately thought I'd had a nosebleed in the middle of the night (gross but plausible) and proceeded to the bathroom bleary eyed to take a shower.  As the hot water hit my face I tilted my head back and...OWWWW OWWWWW OWWWWW...why is my nose stinging so bad???  A quick hop out of the shower and glance in the mirror revealed that the skin on my fat nose was basically gone!  Breathe Rite had jumped ship in the middle of the night and took some epidermis with it!

In the first day, it just looked a little raw, and I'm not sure that anyone noticed other than that nosy lady in Accounting who notices evvvvverything.  Then, the scab formed, and suddenly people were staring more at my face than at my ginormous stomach for the first time in months.  If I wasn't pregnant, I think it would be cool for people to wonder if I'd been in a fight, but watermelon is only 27 days away from his/her big arrival, and I don't need to already be visiting with Child Protective Services!  Do you know how crazy I would sound saying "I promise, it was the Breathe Rite Advanced's fault!"

Breathe Rite, we are officially broken up.  B, welcome back to the wonderful world of AK and her snoring serenades.

xoxo
AK

p.s.  Baby, 27 days!  Can you believe it?  Today the mattress for your crib arrived and we put the sheets on.  You officially have somewhere to sleep that is not a drawer or cardboard box!  Daddy also installed your car seat over the weekend.  It seems really strange to see a little car seat in the back of the BMW, and Daisy is seriously piiiiiiisssed at her lack of room back there now, but I just can't wait to see your little face and feet back there hopefully jamming to some good tunes.  I guess this is called nesting.  We're all ready for you baby bird!

Thursday, February 9, 2012

BABIES!!!!!!!

I don't think I've mentioned this before, but I know someone who is having a baby every single month this year from January to July.  How crazy is that?!  I'm going from having one friend with a baby to like 8 in no time!  The first to give birth was my best friend in the world, J.  I already posted a picture of her adorable little boy last week.  We were lucky enough to make one final road trip last weekend to see the new family of three.


Please disregard my greasy hair (showering becomes less and less appealing the bigger I get), and check out how great J looks!  Like seriously??  This woman just had a baby a week and a half ago.  Just another reason to look up to her.  Since we were 14, she was the cute blond one and I was the funny brunette one.  I see no reason why this would change now. 

After our visit, I realized three things about babies.

1.  They smell good.  Like I want to eat their heads they smell so good! 
2.  They do things that make you laugh hard.  Four adults standing around can laugh for 15 minutes at the explosive passing of gas that comes out of a tiny baby.
3.  They are amazing.  That seriously came out of you, J?  I couldn't even make complete sentences holding her baby.  What am I going to do when it's my own?  I'm going to turn into a drooling weirdo that just stares at my baby all day long.

I am already totally in love with our baby and his/her debut is still four weeks away.  Whoa - four weeks!  I guess that kind of knocks "learn how to play drums", "perfect my risotto recipe" and "speak Spanish fluently" off my Things To Do Do Before The Baby Comes list.  Man - I really wanted to learn how to play the drums too.

xoxo
AK

p.s.  Baby, we washed all of your clothes with that special baby detergent so that they're all ready for you when you come.  I really hope you look good in the color yellow because that's about all we're going to have to work with for awhile.  Once you pop out and we get a peak at what gender you are, Momma will pop out and buy you some gender specific accessories.  The J. Crew Spring 2012 Lookbook is showing neon scarves as the accessory of choice for the ladies and skinny ties for the fellas.  Momma will hook you up, and you will rock all of those yellow duck outfits with sass!
AK

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Awwww

We are sure going to make some beautiful children, B!  Love you so much for letting me drag you on this photo shoot and pick out your clothes - you are my favorite! 








These pictures seriously make me tear up.  HUGE thanks to Tish Photography for capturing the joy, excitement, and love for each other that comes along with becoming parents for the first time.  When I opened up the files for the first time on my computer I said out loud, "Yes, that's exactly how I feel - it's right there all over my slightly swollen face!"

xoxo
AK

p.s.  Baby, last night I dreamt that you finally arrived, and when the Dr. put you in my arms, you were decked out in a Burberry headband.  Are you a girl?  Not only a girl, but a girl with your Momma's fabulous (albeit expensive) sense of style?  Can you come to me in my dreams tonight and tell me where you got that headband cause Momma likey!