Question

Can you die from morning/afternoon/night sickness?  Holy cow.

xoxo
AK

p.s.  Baby, I am only allowing myself to complain for these first twelve weeks.  After that, I'll just rub some dirt on it.  You'll understand what that means in our family very quickly!

super powers

Need to find out who is doing laundry three blocks away?  Or, would you like to know what the neighbors upstairs are having for dinner?  I'm your girl!  I've developed the super smelling powers over the last few days.

There is a down side though - a majority of these scents do not agree with me much.  A large majority.

I'm not going out to buy a superhero cape anytime soon.

xoxo
AK

p.s.  Baby, I read you your first book tonight.  Your Aunt S bought it for you, and it brought the tears to Mama's eyes.  Someday you'll have to thank your Aunt S - I've learned so much from her about how to be a good mother.

Week 9 - no, rewind

Today is Wednesday.  I should be one more week along in my pregnancy and introducing you to the new fruit/veggie that we will be calling our baby this week.  Key word, should.

Last Thursday, B and I went to see my doctor for our first ultrasound.  I don't know why, but I was so nervous I barely slept the night before.  We've started breaking down some financial stuff, and I think that might've been what actually kept me awake.   Anyways, B met me at the office, and he looked so cute in there sitting amongst the baby and parenting magazines.  Looking at his freshly shaven face, I suddenly felt like we were much too young to be parents - ha!  Finally, they called my name, and back to the ultrasound room we went.

While I patiently laid on the table while the ultrasound tech did her magic, so many things ran through my mind.  I thought about the first time I met B, the moment I knew I wanted to marry him and have his children, and the many empty and disappointing months that had led up to this moment.  I'm not sure what Brad was thinking about, but as soon as the monitor was turned around and we could see the beating heart of our little one, we both reached for the others' hand and held on tight grinning like mad!  There was our baby, safe in my belly, it's heart beating 120 beats/minute.  Boom puddy - boom puddy - boom boom boom.

After we dried our eyes, the tech mentioned that the baby was a bit smaller than what they had expected.  Meaning I was not as far along as we first calculated.  In that moment, we went from a nine week old green olive back back back to a five week and four day old sweet pea!  All at once it hit me, morning sickness is still going to be around for a looooong time. 

We left the office clutching our baby's "first picture", and honestly, I was so happy that we would not have to subject our child to a February birthday! 

xoxo
AK

p.s.  Baby, Mama got an A on her research proposal!  You were the much needed inspiration in those last few days to finish strong.  Already, everything I do, is for you.

good morning, olive

Today, our baby is the size of a green olive.  If I didn't find the thought of green olives repulsing right now, this would be really charming.  9 weeks.  Keeping secrets makes the time go by slowly.

This week, a heat wave has arrived in Chicago, and doesn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon.  I know I really shouldn't complain since this was normal weather all summer long when we were living in Texas, but there are some big differences:

1.  While living in Texas, I worked a soul sucking advertising job that rarely let me see the sunshine.  I never left for lunch, so I didn't experience much weather on weekdays other than walking to and from my car every morning and night.
2.  Duh, I wasn't pregnant when we lived there.  I can't shake this exhaustion, and hot days and nights do not help keep my eyes open.  (I successfully fell asleep at my desk this morning for at least three minutes without anyone noticing.)
3.  I now take public transportation to and from work instead of driving.  I love the CTA, but there seriously needs to be a car specifically for moms-to-be that is free of foul smelling body odor and perfumes.  Also, the air conditioning should at least sort of work when it's above 85 degrees outside.

So, there you go.  No matter how many 100 degree days I managed to live through in Texas, a Chicago heat wave is a whole other beast.  What other city has dense fog on a 85 degree day that closes down all of the lakefront beaches followed up by a late night thunderstorm that actually made it hotter outside?  Chicago you are killing me.  Green olive and I do not approve.

xoxo
AK

p.s.  Baby, Grandma F brought you your first present yesterday!  I spent several minutes holding those little outfits thinking about the day you will be here to fill them out.  You will defintely be one well dressed munchkin.

oh boy - here we go

Today I'm battling morning sickness.  I feel like I spent all night out at the bars without any of the fun memories.  In a way ( a really strange and twisted way), I welcome this feeling.  It's really the first time that I've felt pregnant.  Like that little raspberry (almost an olive on Wednesday), is actually in there.  It's just too bad that there's not room for that little raspberry and some breakfast.

I've been continuing my yoga and pilates practice since the big discovery, and enjoyed a nice chat with my instructor on Saturday.  I clued her in last week just to make sure that everything I'm doing on the mat is cool with the raspberry.  Basically, she's keeping me in line.  When I told her I've started to get longer bouts of nauseau lately, she said, "you will be really sick, and it will suck, and there will be nothing you can do about it."  Wow, Ms. Instructor, thank you very much for that inspiring speech.  Good thing she's not leading an army into battle or anything.  Then, she followed it up with, "BUT, you will grit your teeth, and you will smile, and you will make it through because you are a resiliant human being."  Now, that's better.

There are millions of women going through this at the same time as me every single day.  That's such a comforting thought.  I'm not the only woman out there trying to keep it together on a crowded EL car that has broken air conditioning and way too many smelly people stuffed into it.  So, I just clutch my little bag of Swedish Fish (the only thing staying down in my stomach right now), and remember that I am resisliant.

xoxo
AK

p.s.  Baby, your Daddy kissed you through my belly for the first time last night.  He is so excited to meet you.  He's taking good care of us, and even drove to pick up Wingstop for dinner last night.  We are so lucky!

Sharing is most certainly caring.

So, it's official, our parents know they're going to be grandparents!  After my first doctor's visit (pregnancy confirmed), we finally felt comfortable spreading the word to a few very important people.  Unfortunately, since we still don't have the technology to teleport ourselves (seriously, Science, what's up), we had to pick up the old phone.

B and I are both extremely close to our families, and our favorite part is how different they are.  Following are the reactions we received from both sides:

AK's parents - Family H:  Take into consideration that these two have been grandparents for almost 20 years now!  I have a much older sister who has three daughters, so grandchildren have been running around their house for a long time.  Although, there haven't been diapers and highchairs for quite a while.  When we put the phone on speaker and screamed "We're pregnant", my parents were full of congratulations and joy.  You could tell that they were smiling so hard their cheeks hurt - I just love my Dad's big round cheeks that I inherited, and could totally picture him standing there beaming.  I can't wait to hug them both!

B's parents - Family F:  Take into consideration that this baby will be the first grandchild on this side of the family.  We barely got the word "We're" out of our mouths when they started screaming and running around.  I really think it sounded like maybe they were running around in circles screaming.  The noise kept getting closer and then farther away and then closer again.  It made my night to hear them so excited and happy.  Now there is a good reason for all that extra "crib" room in the new basement bedroom.

I never knew that sharing our happy news would multiply our joy so much.  I know that the road ahead of us is not going to be easy (B almost quit the whole thing when he read that newborns need 10 diaper changes a day), but it is amazing to know that we will have the four most amazing and supportive grandparents in the world in our corner.  On these long exhausting days when I'm queasy a lot and need to focus on school and work and don't know how I'm going to do it, I'll think of these four amazing people who went through the same problems years ago to bring us into this world.

So, Science, could you seriously get to work on the teleporting thing?  I have some very important people to hug!

xoxo
ak

p.s.  Baby, when you're a little bit older, remind Grandpa H that he said he was going to buy you a pony if you are a girl, or a tractor if you are a boy.  His memory isn't that great, kind of like your Daddy's which you will learn all about someday, so I'm glad that this is written down so it can be saved forever.

Crazy Happy

When I walked out of the bathroom holding the test, and handed it to Brad, he had tears in his eyes and said, "Is there pee on this?"  I honestly don't think I could've planned a better reaction.  He later clarified that they were happy tears, of course, and not tears because he was holding a stick that had my pee on it.

In the anxiety filled months leading up to this moment, I would sit and daydream about the ultra creative way I would tell him once I knew for sure.  In one fantasy, I taught Daisy a new trick to "show Daddy where the baby was", and in another I baked a cake in the shape of a baby for dessert (gross).  Unfortunately, right on schedule, like clockwork, I was visited by my monthly friend and reminded that these were indeed just fantasies.

On the day that it actually happened I was weirdly calm, and I just wandered out in my pajamas and said, "I think I know why I've been so weird lately."

I am excited/nervous/scared/overjoyed/heart beyond overflowing with joy for this next adventure in our life.  I knew that we had too much gosh darn love and awesomness between the two of us, and that we would have to be blessed with someone else (besides, Daisy of course) to share it all with.

The first thing I thought about when I read the test was, "I can't wait to take this little one to the library and read him/her books."  That's my very first memory of my own mom, and I'd love to be remembered in that way someday.

Love,
AK

p.s.  Baby, you are making it entirely too difficult for Mama to finish her Thesis Proposal this week.  I love that I will always associate finding out about you coming into our lives when I work on this project throughout the next year.