Last night I was sitting in class around 8:30 PM, snacking on a granola bar, and trying to pay attention to something boring my baby hating prof was droning on and on about. I could tell that the boy (man? He's probably in his 20s - I never know when to make the jump to terms like man and woman) sitting next to me was staring at me. I went through my usual checklist of what could be causing this extended gaze in my direction.
1. Do I have a booger? (Slyly used the glare on my laptop screen to check - clear)
2. Is there food on my face? (Did a quick swipe with my hand - clear)
3. Did the prof ask me a question and I am totally oblivious and everyone is waiting for me to answer? (Tune into prof - she is still blabbering about the evils of grade equivalent scores on standardized tests - clear)
4. He thinks I'm hot? (HAHAHAHA - um, clear)
5. This is a new one that hasn't actually happened yet, but, Am I leaking breast milk? (Quick glance down - clear)
Hmmmmm - all clear on these fronts, and still this dude is staring at me. So, I slowly turn to him to meet his gaze and realize that he is staring down at my stomach which is doing some crazy rippling motions as honeydew clogs along to some Dutch song in his/her head. I stop and stare for a few moments, and while I have become quite accustomed to these movements now, I can understand how it might freak out a boy/man with less wordly experiences. Then, he realizes that I caught him staring.
Boy/Man: "Um, are you ok? I mean, is IT ok?"
AK: "Yeah, it's not trying to eat its way out or anything....yet..."
Boy/Man: LONG PAUSE "Wait, it can do that?"
Oh Boy/Man, you have so much to learn, and I'm not talking about babies. Have you ever heard of sarcasm?
xoxo
AK
p.s. Baby, Daddy assembled your crib over the weekend. It is beautiful and makes us SO anxious for your arrival. Also, I practiced using your Baby Bjorn with a stuffed animal and it only fell out twice. Of those two falls, I think only one would've been damaging. I'll just keep practicing....
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